Parenting Gifted Students

Genius Denied: How to Stop Wasting our Brightest Young Minds. Jan & Bob Davidson. Simon & Schuster, 2004.
Written by the founders of the Davidson Institute for Talent Development, this book sheds light on the failure of our nation's public schools to adequately educate gifted students. Genius Denied makes the compelling argument that while school districts are required to “leave no child behind,” the needs of our most talented students are being overlooked.
According to this book, most of the 29 states with funding for gifted programs are not specialized to address and develop the academic needs of highly gifted children. Also, in the midst of major federal and state initiatives to provide funding for low performing schools and children with disabilities, virtually no new funding is available for gifted and talented programming. The authors argue that the quest for equity in schools should aim to provide all children with “an education appropriate to their abilities - one that challenges them and helps them grow.”
Genius Denied describes this “quiet crisis” in education with colorful examples and well -supported statistics, but it does not leave the reader hopeless. The book provides parents and educators with suggestions for how to overcome these inadequacies in the current educational system. The Davidsons use real life scenarios to teach parents about becoming their child's advocate, seeking out supplemental educational services, and finding mentors for their children. They discuss ways in which teachers, mentors and parents can work together to create more challenging academic programs in schools.
The Davidsons argue that continued failure to address the needs of the nation's brightest students means a loss of potential in a country that depends on talented people to continue its forward progress. This book provides an eloquent illustration on this national problem complete with an inspiring set of action steps that can ultimately lead to a solution.

Dona J. Matthews and Joanne F. Foster. Being Smart about Gifted Children. A Guidebook for Parents and Educators. Scottsdale, AZ: Great Potential Press, 2004.

This is a book written for parents and it covers a wide variety of topics about gifted children including conceptions of gitedness, creativity testing and assessment, identification and labeling issues, educational programs within school and outside of school, motivation, emotional and social issues and development,and cultural differences and learning problems among gifted children. The book is long (about 400 pages) but comprehensive and written in an easy, informative style appropriate for non educators. Despite its length it is palatable because it is filled with vignettes of gifted children and the authors frequently give practical suggestions for parents. Especially helpful chapters include the ones on emotional, social and behavioral concerns, development of gifted children, and adapting to program or school changes. This book is recommended for parents who want to a broad view of many issues concerning gifted children.

Freeing Our Families from Perfectionism by Thomas S. Greenspon, Free Spirit Publishing, 2002.
This easy, informal read discusses how perfectionism can manifest itself in children. Some of the symptoms of perfectionism may be counterintuitive and include procrastination and lack of risk-taking–both due to a fear of failure or imperfection. They also include stress, anxiety, excessive competitiveness and criticism of others, and compulsive planning. The author provides a checklist of perfectionistic behaviors in three areas–actions, thoughts and feelings. Greenspon then traces the roots of perfectionism. Contributors include dysfunction in the family, neglect, criticism from parents and adults, unrealistic expectations and excessive praise. Greenspon emphasizes that children form beliefs and "emotional convictions" regarding what they must accomplish to be accepted by parents or how to please them based on their experiences in the home. Beliefs that you are never good enough, or that love and acceptance depend on achievement, lead to perfectionism. Creating a home environment that does not foster perfectionism requires that parents reflect on their own experiences as children and then come to terms with the messages they received from their own parents regarding their worth, abilities and achievement. Greenspon offers suggestions to help parents mitigate perfectionism. Ideas include giving support and encouragement to children rather than praise or criticism, showing your child that you cherish him or her as a unique individual, avoiding comparisons with other children and expressing appreciation to your child for his or her contributions to the family. Greenspon also advises parents to let go of power struggles with their child and to connect through empathy. Greenspon includes many helpful anecdotes throughout the eleven chapters. He also has brief"Talk it Over" sections within each chapter, which include specific suggestions and ideas for addressing emotional issues surrounding perfectionism with your child. Another useful component featured is a section called "Make a Note of It," which offers experiments and questions to help parents reflect on their actions, responses and feelings. Finally, Greenspon offers resources including other books for parents on other important child-rearing issues and ways to find professional counseling.

Sally Yahnke Walker. The Survival Guide for Parents of Gifted Kids: How to Uncerstand, Live With, and Stick Up for Your Gifted Child. Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing, 2002.

John Gottman & Joan DeClaire. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1997.How to Parent So Children Will Learn. By Sylvia Rimm. Three Rivers Press, 1996.
This is an excellent resource for parents. Dr. Rimm is a well known psychologist who shares her wisdom regarding how to parent to promote achievement in children. The book contains three large chapters. The first chapter deals with how parents can promote positive behaviors in their children through the effective use of praise, rewards and punishment, and limit setting. The author discusses how children can fall into patterns of dependence and how parents can promote appropriate self-sufficiency through their parenting. The second chapter is entitled "United Parenting" and deals with patterns of power and interaction between parents and children and how this affects children's achievement. I found this chapter very very interesting and useful. Rimm explains how parents can thwart their children's achievement by undermining each other in ways that they don't even realize. Special sections deal with the problems that uniquely affect single parents and adoptive parents.
The third chapter deals with teaching children how to acquire and develop skills such as organization, time management, study skills, etc., that promote achievement. Through out the book, there are examples and anecdotes that illustrate the content. Each chapter also contains questions from parents with Rimm's advice. I found these to be realistic and very helpful.

Saunders, J. and Espeland, P. Bringing Out the Best. Minneapolis: Free Spirit Publishing, 1991.