Supporting Resilient Students: An Educator's Perspective on Setbacks and Success
by Ross Middleton
For many high-achieving children, the joy of learning is in the details: gifted students might spend hours developing a detailed map for a class presentation, or thoroughly researching and writing a report. But when things don’t go according to plan, these focused students may find themselves struggling. Dr. Emily Mofield—a professor, award-winning educator, and co-author of Teaching Tenacity, Resilience, and a Drive for Excellence—has spent years researching and observing how young learners deal with setbacks and challenges, including perfectionism.
“Not all perfectionism is unhealthy,” Mofield explains, noting that some kinds of “adaptive perfectionism” can be helpful and character-building. However, she cautions parents to take note if these high standards become “all-consuming” or “if the attention to detail is tied to the student’s self-worth.” Identifying the conditions that encourage “maladaptive” perfectionism can be an important step in helping these students. Though she points out that research generally does not indicate a greater likelihood of negative perfectionism among gifted learners, Mofield notes these students “can be critical thinkers of themselves, which may look like harsh self-criticism for making mistakes.”
Traditional academic performance culture can also be a problem for students who wrestle with unrealistically exacting personal standards. Some gifted students might seek flawless grades to feel they’ve accomplished a worthy goal when schoolwork itself has ceased to be stimulating. Others might conflate GPA with self-worth as they grow accustomed to the positive attention that comes with high grades. “Perfectionism is often unintentionally reinforced by the messages children hear related to their talents and abilities,” explains Mofield.
In her work with fellow researcher, Dr. Megan Parker Peters, Mofield has identified several approaches for high-ability students who may be struggling, as well as the adults who want to support them. The colleagues point to a trio of adaptive strategies for student success: tenacity (which Mofield defines as “the ability to hold fast to a goal and be persistent”), resilience (“the ability to move past obstacles and keep going”), and drive (“the healthy type of perfectionism...pursuing achievement for a love of learning, not a fear of failure”). Gifted students can also work to support each other. Mofield notes that a child might be more receptive to feedback from a peer than an adult. “Openly sharing mistakes and offering an empathetic ear can go a long way,” she explains. “Reaching out for support from friends is an important adaptive coping strategy, so friends being there for friends, and acknowledging and validating each other’s disappointing experience, can bring a great sense of relief and understanding that to make a mistake is to be human.”
Parents and teachers can help children by “providing praise that is more geared toward effort and strategy, rather than the ultimate outcome,” in addition to challenging their own ways of thinking. “We have found that there is a link between having a fixed mindset—believing that intelligence does not change—and the unhealthy type of perfectionism,” Mofield shares. Conversely, she explains that positive perfectionist traits are associated with a growth mindset (“believing intelligence can grow with effort”). With these relationships in mind, educators and parents can encourage a dynamic view of ability, while approaching perfectionism and achievement in a way that empowers children.
Ross Middleton is an independent writer and formerly part of CTD’s Summer Program staff. He received his BA in English Literature from Wesleyan University and an MFA in Writing from Sarah Lawrence.